Curse of Human Events (Genesis 3:7, etc)

Mean lady tricks naked man and world is tossed to the flames of perdition. Sound familiar?

Adam suddenly found himself naked in Eden and desperately managed, through the alchemy of hurried and botanically uninformed Bible illustration, to affix a leaf to his privates.

Then Adam and his recent, painfully procured wife heard the sound of the LORD God as he was walking in the garden in the cool of the day, and they hid from the LORD God among the trees of the garden.  But the LORD God sought Adam in a manner that calls into question His credentials as an omni-thingy. “Where are you?”

“I heard you in the garden,” Adam answered, “and I was afraid because I was naked; so I hid.”

“Who told you that you were naked?” God said in another very early instance of His lofting loaded questions at us and then calling lightning and fire down on our puzzled asses. “Have you eaten from the tree that I commanded you not to eat from?”

“I would remind the Lord that ‘from’ is a preposition and subject to the usual nattering rules. And the woman you put here with me—she’s trouble, god.”

“Capital G!”

“Right. Sorry. This otherwise very attractive lady whose creation for some reason necessitated, despite your reported omnipotence, the painful and bloody non-surgical ripping away of my rib? She gave me some fruit from the tree, and I ate it.”

“What is this you have done?” the Lord thundered, turning to the woman.

The woman was seen to gaze indolently about the garden for several minutes. Then seeming to start at a sudden sound said, “Oh. What?”