The conscionable banana: It was at work that I first had the banana-apple epiphany, and it was nothing less than that. I’d grown weary-unto-death of this numbing morning ritual, the dazed quaffing of a cold banana, inoculation, I vividly imagined, against the fatty, arterially rapacious foodstuffs that would take up the rest of the daily gastronomy. I’d long since learned of the banana’s nutritional reputation as a wonder food, loaded with potassium, tryptophan (mood-lifting, paisely-bedecked serotonin in a lab smock), iron, B6, and three kinds of spirit-seizing sugar molecule. It’s no wonder the apes bombed Manhattan. But, despite all the evolutionary good cheer inherent in the banana, how awful to have to down one every day. Just the one, of course. But how awful. But then, it was discovered that a yapful of banana could also feature a mediating wedge of apple. Oh, What a Paradise it Seems!
Published by jef
The blood thrumming around the still-point of this light headache can be traced back to the first rain. That is, our blood just sort of drifts, like smoke, through time; with stops in the Cambrian, the Renaissance and so on. It’s an impenetrable, infinitely-layered heap of unknowing. Okay? (sighs) Yeah The World (as it’s called) is a hopeless lucid dream, but not the kind where you can leap off a building, flap your arms and take joyous id-flight. It’s the kind where you show up for just long enough to see yourself in a mirror and Know that You are Here. That apparently necessary bit of business having been addressed, thermodynamics or some other such fancy idiot enters with a tea towel over its forearm, takes you politely by the gnarled elbow and ushers you back into the soil, where the mostly irritating Circle of Life awaits to make of you a tree, then a shoebox, then wet mush in a landfill again. Bring me my slippers! Oh…never mind. But I’m not here to philosophishizzle. We’re doomed animals at the momentary top of a food chain of no eternal consequence. It feels like. That’s not meant to be a downer. Bacharach sprang from the Ur-ooze, so that recommends the place. Let us celebrate our moment in the hum de dum dum de dum de de de dum dum. View all posts by jef